Every so often I give my skin and hair a little bit of a break and put my usual daily beauty regimen on hold. I’m nearing the end of one of those such weeks and instead of some enlightening epiphany about society’s assumptions of beauty and a burst of self confidence and I DON’T NEED MAKEUP TO MAKE ME FEEL PRETTY… I’m actually looking forward to pulling out my makeup bag and flat iron again. I have visions of never letting them go, ever.

This week was determined by the fact that I was stress-acne-ing so badly that putting makeup on top of it just made the bumps more noticeable and gross, so my taking the week off so to speak was more forced than voluntary.

I think at least twice this week someone asked me if I was sick. True, it’s cold season, but still.

Un-tamed, my hair is a frizzy mess. I know I should accept my wild curls and find comfort in the fact that my limp-locked peers envy the body my hair has–but I just can’t. I don’t look GOOD when my hair is not done. I look unkempt, messy, and unprofessional. When straight-haired girls think of the curls they crave, it is not the ones on my head. Yes, some days I’m able to slather on enough hair product to find the perfect medium between dry frizz and slick grease and my curls are calmed into happy waves, but these days are few and far between. These are the days my friends remember when they tell me “you’re sooo lucky! I WISH I had your hair!” …nope, you wish you had my hair during the 3% of the time it’s tolerable. You don’t want it the way it is.

Without at least some foundation, my skin is splotchy and pale. Pale works for some people–I’ve even found myself envying a Snow White-esque friend of mine for how flawlessly ivory her skin looks. However, to my freckle-spotted face that turns red at the smallest sign of ANYTHING, pale just accentuates the issues I have. I much prefer my skin in the summer, when it has a bit of color to even out the harsh brown of the freckles, and I do find myself wearing less makeup during the warm months, but for winter, I need my makeup.

Not going to get into my various issues with my body itself, except that, as a friend so nicely pointed out to me last night I could “stand to lose a few pounds.” heh. Aside from her, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who sees myself as anything but “slender yet curvy” except I remember when I was even more slender (despite longing for more curve) and I wish to return somewhat to those days. Moving on.

Basically, I know my “break from the makeup” weeks are good for my skin and my hair–they deserve it for the torment I put them through–but I accepted long ago that I’ll just never be one of those people who accepts their appearance at, ahem, face value. I’ll always need my makeup bag and my flat iron and you know what? I’m pretty sure that’s okay.

Confidence is the most attractive thing you can have. And if a few magic potions in the form of eyeliner and foundation and hair products can help me obtain that, then that’s what I’m going to do.

Entirely unsure where I was going with this. But yeah…