Every so often I give my skin and hair a little bit of a break and put my usual daily beauty regimen on hold. I’m nearing the end of one of those such weeks and instead of some enlightening epiphany about society’s assumptions of beauty and a burst of self confidence and I DON’T NEED MAKEUP TO MAKE ME FEEL PRETTY… I’m actually looking forward to pulling out my makeup bag and flat iron again. I have visions of never letting them go, ever.

This week was determined by the fact that I was stress-acne-ing so badly that putting makeup on top of it just made the bumps more noticeable and gross, so my taking the week off so to speak was more forced than voluntary.

I think at least twice this week someone asked me if I was sick. True, it’s cold season, but still.

Un-tamed, my hair is a frizzy mess. I know I should accept my wild curls and find comfort in the fact that my limp-locked peers envy the body my hair has–but I just can’t. I don’t look GOOD when my hair is not done. I look unkempt, messy, and unprofessional. When straight-haired girls think of the curls they crave, it is not the ones on my head. Yes, some days I’m able to slather on enough hair product to find the perfect medium between dry frizz and slick grease and my curls are calmed into happy waves, but these days are few and far between. These are the days my friends remember when they tell me “you’re sooo lucky! I WISH I had your hair!” …nope, you wish you had my hair during the 3% of the time it’s tolerable. You don’t want it the way it is.

Without at least some foundation, my skin is splotchy and pale. Pale works for some people–I’ve even found myself envying a Snow White-esque friend of mine for how flawlessly ivory her skin looks. However, to my freckle-spotted face that turns red at the smallest sign of ANYTHING, pale just accentuates the issues I have. I much prefer my skin in the summer, when it has a bit of color to even out the harsh brown of the freckles, and I do find myself wearing less makeup during the warm months, but for winter, I need my makeup.

Not going to get into my various issues with my body itself, except that, as a friend so nicely pointed out to me last night I could “stand to lose a few pounds.” heh. Aside from her, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who sees myself as anything but “slender yet curvy” except I remember when I was even more slender (despite longing for more curve) and I wish to return somewhat to those days. Moving on.

Basically, I know my “break from the makeup” weeks are good for my skin and my hair–they deserve it for the torment I put them through–but I accepted long ago that I’ll just never be one of those people who accepts their appearance at, ahem, face value. I’ll always need my makeup bag and my flat iron and you know what? I’m pretty sure that’s okay.

Confidence is the most attractive thing you can have. And if a few magic potions in the form of eyeliner and foundation and hair products can help me obtain that, then that’s what I’m going to do.

Entirely unsure where I was going with this. But yeah…

I promise I’ll make a real, cohesive post sometime in the near future. Until then, you’ll have to deal with the lists.

-A word to the wise: check and double-check your bank account number when filing your tax return online. Thanks to my butterfingers adding an extra number to my account, I now have to wait an additional three weeks to get my return. I hate when I plan on having money and then I don’t end up actually having it… arg.

-I am inspired by my blog idols Andie (Can You Stay for Dinner) and Alida (The Frenemy) who now have book deals from their blogs, to try and write more. By “inspired” I mean “endlessly jealous.” I’ve found that a good stepping stone to getting your name out there is to write a column for a local newspaper. What the hell would I write a column about, you ask? Being 20-something and in a Quarter Life Crisis (clearly my new favorite term) in the lovely Pioneer Valley of Massachusetts of course! We have the five colleges in the Amherst area and a handful of others in the general vicinity, and a good number of students tend to stick around the area. That means lots of little young professionals like me feeling lost and confused. No idea how to even go about marketing myself as a columnist, but I figure writing some sample columns and query letters to the local papers is a start. Will let you know how that goes.

-I get my second tattoo this coming Saturday. I am endlessly excited. It’s a design I’ve been carrying around in my purse for about four years now, and soon it will be on my back forevermore. It’s a redesign of the butterfly my mom has on her leg, and I’ll be getting it on my shoulder blade. My lovely artist friend designed it for me, and I love it. I suck at pain though, so I’m mostly excited with a dash of crippling fear…

-My search for a new gym is coming up empty. My motivation to exercise on my own is none. Oy.

-I’m more and more convinced the teenager-esque breakout on my face is a bad reaction to the communal makeup I used during my play two weekends ago. I’ve decided for the next few days I will give both my face and my hair a break and do absolutely nothing to either. So if you see a crazy-haired freckle-faced troll wandering the streets of Western Massachusetts it’s likely you’re seeing me in my natural state sans makeup and flatiron. 

-Next week is already tech week for the next play I’m in, Treasure Island. Very excited to be a swashbuckling pirate in this play. I am really loving this theater group and I hope I can do more shows with them in the future.

That’s all for now, folks. Tune in next time when maybe I can organize my thoughts enough for a decent blog post.

I use the list form when I’m too lazy to work everything into one cohesive storyline. And this post is only because I’m bored on my lunch break and figured I needed a bit of an update over here. So here are some things I’m thinking of.

-I’ve been missing Europe a lot lately. I need to get back. I also need a travel partner… Wanderlust has got its claws in me deep and if I don’t go somewhere new in the next few months or so I’m going to start crawling out of my skin… Places I’d like to go to include: LA (again), Paris (again), London (again), Venice (never been), Singapore (never been), China (one of those all inclusive tour things, also never been), Vegas (again), San Francisco (never been).

-I GOT AN APARTMENT!!! …well, kinda. My roommate and I found a decently priced apartment in one of the complexes that is all-inclusive, allows pets, is only a 15 minute drive to either of our jobs, and has a pool. That’s enough checks off my list, methinks. However, we haven’t been able to actually SEE the apartment yet, since people are still living in it. We’ve seen a sample apartment and our friend lives on site and showed us her apartment and it impressed us a lot. So, when the current tenants move out March 1st, we can view the actual space. Until then, we have a deposit on it. REJOICE.

-Not sure if I should start furniture/apartment shopping NOW or wait until we have the place. Either I have more time to look but potentially don’t have a place if the apartment itself ends up being crap, or I have very little time if we wait until March. Hmm…

-The play went well, and I’m getting more and more excited for the next one coming up. Treasure Island = Pirates. It’s going to be fun 🙂

-My gym closed. So now I’m looking for a new one, yet again. Helloooo again, bubble butt, what’s up?

-I should be getting my tax refund any day now and it’s making me antsy that it’s supposedly been deposited, yet there is no extra money in my account. Though it’s a small refund, I already have it all figured out. 3/5ths is going into savings (how long it will actually STAY there is anyone’s guess), 1/5th will go to my credit card payment, and the last 5th will be combined with a gift card I have for a little shopping spree. There are some boots I got my eye on…

-Somehow I’m having an epic acne breakout circa 2003. Oy vey. Thankfully I’ve never been much of a pizza face, but when I do break out it’s big gross red welts. It’s lovely. I feel quite pretty indeed.

-Since my accident in December (falling down the stairs and busting my ankle, leaving me immobile for a few days and limping for more), I haven’t been wearing heels much. As a fairly short person who wishes to be tall, I usually wear heels almost daily. But for sake of my continued desire to walk normally, I have been mostly confined to wearing my Uggs and various flat shoes I own. Today, I decided to pull out the ankle boots. The result? I apparently have forgotten how to walk in heels. I feel like a drunk baby Bambi taking his first steps.

-I am seriously addicted to Showtime’s Shameless. I don’t even remember where I heard about it, but I started watching the first season three nights ago and am already almost done with it. It’s just such a perfect ensemble drama, with just the right amount of comedy. I am completely floored at how well William H. Macy and Joan Cusak play their characters!–though I do suppose it IS easier to play weirdos than “normal” people, but still! And all of the kids in it are fantastic. I can’t decide if I want to write for this show or BE IN IT (I usually have one of those two reactions when watching a show I love). I know, I know, it’s a remake of a British one, but still! And I fully intend on watching the British one when I’m done with this, promise.

-I’ve been feeling really nostalgic lately. There’s a lot of people I miss from my past I guess. Trying not to let it get to me, and I’m not entirely sure why I’m suddenly feeling sad about it when I’ve been pretty good lately. Facebook maybe? Sure, let’s blame Facebook. I should just get over my phone fear and make some phone calls and lunch dates. Or something. Or once I move into my new apartment offer old friends free dinner if they come over for catching up. I do have quite a lot of recipes to try out…

Baked mac and cheese with the ritz cracker crust and three layer peanutbutter brownies for you if you visit me, promise.